The Shocked Cinderella

Sure, there are some pretty stupid
criminals out there. Yet this excerpt
from a Washington Post article proves
that not all criminals are dumb – in fact, some are so clever that the Post
labeled this article, "The Best
Comeback Line Ever"

In summary, the police arrested
Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a
pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on
Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd
and lascivious behavior, public
indecency, and public intoxication at
the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was
passing a pumpkin patch he decided
to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no
one around here for miles. At least I
thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he
pulled over to the side of the road,
Picked out a pumpkin that he felt was
appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole
in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently
failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was
unaware of his audience until Officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. "It
was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up
to (Lawrence) and he's... just working
away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what
happened when she approached
Lawrence. "I just went up and said,
'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that
you are screwing a pumpkin?' He
froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
straight in the face and said, 'A
pumpkin? Darn...is it midnight
already?"